Nothing encapsulates both the freedom and horror of being single quite like a one-night stand. When you don’t know where the night will take you, sometimes the answer is a studio apartment with a futon owned by that one hottie with a beard who happened to be in line behind you at the bar. As you get your thang on with a random person, your brain is along for the ride, providing valid (but often ignored) commentary.
1. Is his name Darren or Derek? Or David? Sh*t.
2. I wonder if he’ll notice if I sneak off to the bathroom to trim my bikini line real quick.
3. I am. So glad. I’m not showering here.
4. I really hope I have a condom at the bottom of this giant purse…okay, phew.
5. I gotta start meeting guys at book clubs or something.
6. Whoa. Those are some bucket list abs.
7. Can we just have sex before I have to ask about that action figure collection? Thanks.
8. Please tell me he doesn’t sleep on that pile of laundry.
9. I cannot wait to tell my friends about this.
10. Really, dude? Five cats?
11. Somehow, cosmically, my ex-boyfriend is going to find out about this and be jealous.
12. Please let his penis be normal. Please let his penis be normal.
13. YAS! SEX!
All gifs via via GIPHY
Source: Women’s Health Mag